What it means to be a girl in Hyderabad when you are 13

If you are from the north and go to the south with the intention of living there, you are in for a shock.
The enticing dosas and sambars can only fulfil your thrill of a different city for so long.
When I moved to Hyderabad from Delhi, I was 13 and my only experience of South India was that of weddings. I am a Tamilian , and the only reason we travelled south of Delhi was to attend marriages. After I moved from Delhi to Hyderabad. I was in denial for the longest time..
1. It wasn’t Delhi
2. It wasn’t even Chennai
3. Old men ogled at me even when I had no breasts
4. I learnt in Hyderabad that men ogle in general
5. Boys and girls don’t talk to each other, sit next to each other and only glance at each other surreptitiously
6. Boys who did not look at girls furtively are louts and to be avoided at all costs
7. Co – ed school meant – boys and girls in the same class but *please refer to point 5 for behaviour of boys and girls in classroom*
8. Hindi teachers spoke atrocious dialects of hindi with errors galore.
9. Also, everyone seemed to want to speak in Hindi but couldn’t string four words together without breaking all grammar rules
10. Girls seemed to sprout jasmine flowers on their hair in school, without fail everyday!
11. I was the only girl who wore “jean pant” in my school and so I was considered living life in the fast lane.
12. I was 13 and I had no playmates since the girls would sit in their terraces and balconies in the evenings in bunches – possibly to air out the flower garden on their head. I didnt know how to approach boys without point 13 and 16 occurring. (Read below)
13. You cant talk to boys without being seen as a slut.
14. You have to wear bangles and bindi to prove you are a girl to make it easier for men to hit on you, since 12 and 13 year olds do not always have womanly curves. So it can get very confusing for all the doddering old men, with poor eyesight, to hit on their gender of preference.
15. Boys and girls, who know each other, will stand in separate groups while waiting to enter the theatre, when going for movies together
16. If you are a girl walking down the road, then it licences all men from the age group 12 to death bed to do the following –
a) Wink at you
b) Lick and bite their lips and then wink at you. Its all about timing and getting the sequence right.
c) Try to bump into you and frantically feel whatever they can in the brief collision
d) They also multi task such as - Wink at you while peeing against a wall
e) Whistle at you tunelessly
f) There you have it again, such talent - Whistle at you while peeing against a wall
g) Making loud kissing noises which would give even Emraan Hashmi a run for his money!
h) Making other vulgar hand gestures
i) Stalk you meekly
j) Ask you for your autograph – God knows why?!
k) Stand around with their friends and pass graphic comments
l) Group chase you on bikes

These were my grievances when I was 13. The list changed. I got used to all of the above.
The change of list will follow in another post.

Ps: All this was 14 years ago. Hyderabad has changed by leaps and bounds since. Infact, one might even say that the girls have it easy now there..

Johny from Asiad

I am very fond of dogs. Any dog. When I was a kid, I lived in Delhi in this wonderful place called Asiad Games Village. I have had many adventures there or what a kid of age 8 would consider adventures. Finding neon green coloured birds in bushes (people still done believe me), mulberry picking, the orchard and the various street dogs of Hawa Singh Block. There was one in particular – called Johny – named by me. He was not any dog. He was the kind of dog that any child who was not allowed to have a pet, would love to call her own. He was a sweetheart. He used to make himself comfortable in the park where we played and wouldn’t move. He was harmless really. But since he was a street dog everyone was very wary of him. He was perhaps the first real friend I made at Asiad and so I had no fear of Johny. I would just go over to him, pet him and talk to him and Johny would just get up wagging his tail and take himself off to a different place and plop down and watch us play.

Johny was getting old when I met him He used to sleep most days. He would sort of get animated when petted and then plop down again. He was really obedient. If I called out to him, he would make the effort to get up and come to me wagging his tail. As a kid, I had no qualms about touching street dogs. I hope to God that I washed my hands afterwards – I cant really remember anymore. I used to sing a rhyme to Johny, no prizes for guessing which one – Johny Johny Yes Papa, Eating Sugar No Papa…

Anyway I left Asiad when I was about 12. I left Delhi when I was 13. I came back to Delhi for a visit and went to Asiad. I was really heartbroken about leaving Asiad and Delhi itself…when I visited Asiad again I was 17 or 18, it was a bitter sweet feeling .. my dad and I statyed at Asiad in the very same house that was once my home..it had been converted into a guest house..i was ecstatic and also very sad .. in the master bedroom – which used to be my parent’s bedroom..i had stuck a small figurine on the cupboard door..with one of those feviquick sort of things, as you do as a kid..and it was astonishing to see that it was still there..ppl looking after the place had not bothered to remove it. I almost experienced the euphoria of having left my mark on the world!

I went down to find Johny naively thinking that he would still be around and would recognise me..i learnt from friends that Johny had passed away a couple of years ago. It was fitting with my trip really .. bittersweet .. I was back at the one place I loved to bits..but my sweet Johny was there no longer…

God bless his soul…

Late Bloomer

Hello everyone! This is my first post. I am rather a late bloomer – be it make up, shoes ( I am always running atleast 4 seasons behind), driving or blogging.

Three years ago I went t to buy some make up. Sales men and women at make up stores used to intimidate me especially when they are all done up and seem to have flawless skin and exquisite make up on. I summoned up the courage to go ask the following question “ umm I have never used make – up and I am umm looking for a foundation”. I thought although they look intimidating surely they will be delighted to find someone like myself, a total novice, to take advantage of and sell everything to? I was prepared to look as unworldly in the world of make up as possible if it meant that I will be in and out of the store with ego unscathed.

So I went to MAC in Sydney and hovered around some make up till a sales girl came to assist me. I immediately launched into my script – “umm I have never used make – up and I am umm looking for a foundation”. After I had finished that one golden sentence, I waited expectantly with an almost pleased look on my face. What followed next was out of my nightmares. The sales girl gave me a withering look and said “ oh my really…you are a late bloomer aren’t you..oh well come with me lets see what we can get you..”. I thought to myself, shucks, don’t I pass for 21or 22 – or is that pretty late too. I must really be behind times. Then she revealed “ I started wearing make up when I was 16”. I was almost tempted to ask, oh last year you mean – so flawless and young was her skin. But kept the thought tomyself, my opening line had done enough damage and I had to contain that first before I could unleash another.

So I just meekly followed her. She gave me a look that said “what am I going to do with her?”. She sat me on a chair and took some foundation and rubbed it on my face with her brush. Then she remarked, you have a lot of facial hair. I cringed inside and said very bravely “yes I do”. The next question that followed was seriously out of my nightmares – I wanted to pinch myself to check. Surely I was sleeping. The plan was going awfully awry. Sales girl asks – “So don’t you remove the facial hair?”. I said another brave “No”. She says then “My goodness, I am curious how you have avoided make up for so long?!”. She looked incredulous. I mumbled some answer. Needless to say I didn’t buy anything. Its almost as if the Sales girl was expecting this and didn’t really show any interest in selling any product to me. Almost as if, it was a sacrilege not to have worn make up for so long and have the audacity to buy some NOW. So I stumbled out of the shop, my confidence reeling and I swore to myself – never again – no make up!

Last year, I bought an entire set from Mac. Wonderful product really. The sales girl was the likes of my first innocent imagination from 3 years. She even did my make up for that day and sent me home! I have been very loyal to Mac ever since.

Anyway, so the point I am making is that I decided this year that I am done being a late bloomer and set out to buy the iphone. Initially I was going to buy it a couple of years later. So I scoured shops only to find that, iphone though fantastic was being offered on lousy plans. So instead went with LG viewty – still current and on a fantastic plan.

Feeling pleased with myself :).

So hi to everyone!!